Both to prepare myself for my inevitable return to Disney and to soothe the hole in my heart, I have been rewatching all of the Disney and Pixar films that I own, from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves to Tangled. Sadly, some of my films seem to have gone missing...I am no longer in possession of several of them. But I have enough to keep me going for now. And I got to relive some of my all time favorite moments!
Mulan
TAKE IT, CRI-KEE! Seriously, how can you not love the manliest film ever made?
Fantasia
Aka. Disney on Acid. It really shows the skill of the animators and musicians...and is just breathtaking.
Lady and the Tramp
Peg. Just...Peg.
Oliver and Company
Why should I worry? SING IT, DODGER!
However, several of my favorite films from my childhood are...well...not my favorites anymore. More than once while I was watching the Canon, I felt myself thinking "Did I really like this?" Films in question:
Bambi
Besides the whole "shooting the mom" thing, which was bad...I honestly didn't care for Bambi this time around. The only thing that caught my attention was the whole "attempted rape" subtext of the Bambi/Ronno fighting over Faline scene. Seriously, what else do you think Ronno had in mind?
Peter Pan
I was extremely uninterested. I found all of the protagonists extremely annoying (especially Peter and Wendy) and didn't care about what happened to them. Mermaids? Bitchy. The Lost Boys? Spoiled brats. Tinker Bell? EXTREMELY bitchy.
101 Dalmatians
I never thought I'd see the day when I talked down about a dog movie. But here it is. And honestly, the only part of that whole movie that people really remember is Cruella DeVil. Truth be told, she's a great villain. But the movie was just...plain. Nothing special here.
The Jungle Book
Again, plain. Uninteresting. Mowgli needs a good spanking.
The Little Mermaid (but really, who is surprised by this one?)
I think I made my opinions about this movie clear, but just in case you forgot: I hate it. Ariel is 16 years old. She sells her soul and mutilates her body for a CHANCE with a man she saw. Problem?
Obviously, I'm not done with the Canon yet. There are some films I haven't seen in ages, and there are some films I haven't seen at all. But, it shall be done! Hurray!
Showing posts with label snow white and the seven dwarves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snow white and the seven dwarves. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
13 Pieces of Disney Nightmare Fuel, Part 3
You've read Part 1 and Part 2. Here's Part 3 with movies 7 - 5.
7. The Black Cauldron (1985)
This is another one that did poorly at the box office, most likely because people have aneurysms when movies are loosely based on books. But that's another article.
In this story, we follow young assistant pig-keeper Taran and his psychic pig Hen Wen. Hen Wen is sought after by the Horned King to help him find the titular cauldron, because apparently if you're evil the cauldron will do something awesome for you, like give you a makeover.
This, my dears, is the Horned King. He wants power. He wants to rule the world. He wants to be God. He wants to kill you.
He says it himself: "How long I have thirsted to be a god among mortal men." And god forbid you bring him bad news - he will either strangle you or sacrifice you to the cauldron.
Oh, yeah. The cauldron requires sacrifice to operate. Creeper, the Horned King's (very annoying) assistant, almost becomes that sacrifice when he reports bad news. In fact, once the Horned King gets the cauldron working, he abandons all of his living assistants in favor of his "cauldron-born."
His army of the undead, that is.
And in case you needed any more convincing...here's a close-up of the guy.
Have fun sleeping tonight.
6. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)
This is where it all started. The first ever feature length animated film...and boy, did it leave a lasting effect on us. We start by learning that Snow White is basically being held captive by the Queen, for some reason, and made to be a servant. A Prince happens to overhear her singing, and because he's a prince, decides to sing back and make her fall in love with him. Because that's how these things work.
All the while, the Queen is watching...and she's not happy. After her Magic Mirror declares that Snow White is now the fairest in the land - and not her - she decides to have Snow killed. Not banished. Killed.
She even orders her Huntsman to bring back her heart as proof. The Huntsman almost does...but then chickens out and tells Snow to run for it. One problem with this idea:
Monsters, monsters, everywhere. Alligator logs, demon trees...and the EYES. THE FUCKING EYES.
She eventually makes it out and finds the cottage of the dwarves. After an initial misunderstanding, she's welcomed into their home and all is peaceful for about a day.
Then, Scumbag Magic Mirror has to go and tell the Queen that her loyal Huntsman had given her the heart of a pig. Enraged, the Queen who wants to be the fairest of all decides that the only course of action...is to make herself ugly in the most painful way possible.
Seems legit.
In her uber-ugly disguise, she gives Snow White a poisoned apple, which for some reason immediately puts her in a coma. The animals who have been guarding Snow White get the dwarves, who come back and chase Old Ugly up a mountain....
Bah, you know the rest.
5. Tangled (2010)
Tangled isn't as in your face about its horror factor initially. In fact, compared to some of the other movies on here, this one may seem pretty tame. At first. Then you take a closer look at yet another main villain, Mother Gothel.
We know from the get-go that Gothel isn't Rapunzel's real mother. Gothel kidnapped Rapunzel as a baby and raised her as her own. Rapunzel, as of this movie, is 18 years old. Her real parents have been searching for her for 18 years. Let that sink in for a moment.
But we also know why: Mother Gothel wants Rapunzel's healing hair, which can't be cut or it loses its power. If the girl is so important to her, obviously she's going to treat Rapunzel well, right?
Wrong.
The abuse that she puts Rapunzel through is utterly horrific. She constantly puts Rapunzel down while pulling herself up. ("Look in that mirror. Do you know what I see? I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady...oh look! You're here too!") It's about as frightening as anything I've seen.
Later, as the film progresses, Mother Gothel slowly starts to show her true colors as a villainess. First, with her manipulation of the Stabbington Brothers...
...followed up by her dark reprise of Mother Knows Best.
Rapunzel eventually makes it to the festival, only to have shit go down. She returns to her tower with Mother Gothel, thoroughly grieving the loss of her friendship with Flynn. She looks up, sees the art she's painted over the years, and figures out that she's the lost princess. She then stands up to Mother Gothel, telling her under no circumstances would she ever let her use her hair again.
And then shit gets real...
"You want me to be the bad guy? Fine...now I'm the bad guy..."
She chains and gags Rapunzel, and when Flynn comes to the rescue, she stabs him.
She then tries to drag Rapunzel off, only for her to fight her. Rapunzel only agrees to stop fighting her if Gothel will allow Rapunzel to heal Flynn. Gothel agrees to this. Flynn pleads with Rapunzel not to, but she won't listen to him, so...
He slices her hair off, which revokes the hair's healing gift for Mother Gothel, and she rapidly starts aging.
Think Dorian Gray...
...just a million times worse.
And there's part 3! Part 4 shall have 4 - 2! What will be number 1? Stay tuned!
AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.
7. The Black Cauldron (1985)
This is another one that did poorly at the box office, most likely because people have aneurysms when movies are loosely based on books. But that's another article.
In this story, we follow young assistant pig-keeper Taran and his psychic pig Hen Wen. Hen Wen is sought after by the Horned King to help him find the titular cauldron, because apparently if you're evil the cauldron will do something awesome for you, like give you a makeover.
This, my dears, is the Horned King. He wants power. He wants to rule the world. He wants to be God. He wants to kill you.
Oh, yeah. The cauldron requires sacrifice to operate. Creeper, the Horned King's (very annoying) assistant, almost becomes that sacrifice when he reports bad news. In fact, once the Horned King gets the cauldron working, he abandons all of his living assistants in favor of his "cauldron-born."
His army of the undead, that is.
And in case you needed any more convincing...here's a close-up of the guy.
Have fun sleeping tonight.
6. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)
This is where it all started. The first ever feature length animated film...and boy, did it leave a lasting effect on us. We start by learning that Snow White is basically being held captive by the Queen, for some reason, and made to be a servant. A Prince happens to overhear her singing, and because he's a prince, decides to sing back and make her fall in love with him. Because that's how these things work.
All the while, the Queen is watching...and she's not happy. After her Magic Mirror declares that Snow White is now the fairest in the land - and not her - she decides to have Snow killed. Not banished. Killed.
She even orders her Huntsman to bring back her heart as proof. The Huntsman almost does...but then chickens out and tells Snow to run for it. One problem with this idea:
Monsters, monsters, everywhere. Alligator logs, demon trees...and the EYES. THE FUCKING EYES.
She eventually makes it out and finds the cottage of the dwarves. After an initial misunderstanding, she's welcomed into their home and all is peaceful for about a day.
Then, Scumbag Magic Mirror has to go and tell the Queen that her loyal Huntsman had given her the heart of a pig. Enraged, the Queen who wants to be the fairest of all decides that the only course of action...is to make herself ugly in the most painful way possible.
Seems legit.
In her uber-ugly disguise, she gives Snow White a poisoned apple, which for some reason immediately puts her in a coma. The animals who have been guarding Snow White get the dwarves, who come back and chase Old Ugly up a mountain....
Bah, you know the rest.
5. Tangled (2010)
Tangled isn't as in your face about its horror factor initially. In fact, compared to some of the other movies on here, this one may seem pretty tame. At first. Then you take a closer look at yet another main villain, Mother Gothel.
We know from the get-go that Gothel isn't Rapunzel's real mother. Gothel kidnapped Rapunzel as a baby and raised her as her own. Rapunzel, as of this movie, is 18 years old. Her real parents have been searching for her for 18 years. Let that sink in for a moment.
But we also know why: Mother Gothel wants Rapunzel's healing hair, which can't be cut or it loses its power. If the girl is so important to her, obviously she's going to treat Rapunzel well, right?
Wrong.
The abuse that she puts Rapunzel through is utterly horrific. She constantly puts Rapunzel down while pulling herself up. ("Look in that mirror. Do you know what I see? I see a strong, confident, beautiful young lady...oh look! You're here too!") It's about as frightening as anything I've seen.
Later, as the film progresses, Mother Gothel slowly starts to show her true colors as a villainess. First, with her manipulation of the Stabbington Brothers...
...followed up by her dark reprise of Mother Knows Best.
Rapunzel eventually makes it to the festival, only to have shit go down. She returns to her tower with Mother Gothel, thoroughly grieving the loss of her friendship with Flynn. She looks up, sees the art she's painted over the years, and figures out that she's the lost princess. She then stands up to Mother Gothel, telling her under no circumstances would she ever let her use her hair again.
And then shit gets real...
"You want me to be the bad guy? Fine...now I'm the bad guy..."
She chains and gags Rapunzel, and when Flynn comes to the rescue, she stabs him.
She then tries to drag Rapunzel off, only for her to fight her. Rapunzel only agrees to stop fighting her if Gothel will allow Rapunzel to heal Flynn. Gothel agrees to this. Flynn pleads with Rapunzel not to, but she won't listen to him, so...
He slices her hair off, which revokes the hair's healing gift for Mother Gothel, and she rapidly starts aging.
Think Dorian Gray...
...just a million times worse.
And there's part 3! Part 4 shall have 4 - 2! What will be number 1? Stay tuned!
AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.
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