With that said...here is the number one film.
1. Pinocchio (1940)
Yep, Pinocchio. Oh yes.
If you can't remember, Pinocchio had a grand total of 5 villains/antagonists. I'll use each of them to carry us through the nightmare fueled journey.
First up, we have Honest John and Gideon.
These two find Pinocchio on his way to school and convince him to follow them. They enthrall him (well, John does) with tales of being an actor and lure him away. Obviously, they have no intent to keep him. They sell him to Stromboli, the extremely greedy puppet master.
He forces Pinocchio to put on shows, threatening to make him firewood if he doesn't comply and locking him in a cage when he isn't performing. Thankfully, with the help of the Blue Fairy, Pinocchio escapes.
Back to our first two. They're out celebrating their cash haul when they run into villain #4, The Coachman.
He hires them to kidnap "stupid little boys" and bring them to Pleasure Island for him. Ignoring the pedophilic implications, they agree, because money makes everything ok. And because the Coachman makes this face:
Now, what happens to the boys on Pleasure Island? Well, they run amok: They can smoke, drink, gamble, and break shit without any adult supervision whatsoever. They essentially act like jackasses...
Oh, shit...
They get turned into literal jackasses.
But Pinocchio escapes one again, and returns home, only to find his father gone. The Blue Fairy informs him that his father has been swallowed...
...by this guy.
Meet villain #5: Monstro the muthafucking...whale? What kind of whale is THAT?!
Yeah. This guy swallowed Pinocchio's dad. And Pinocchio too, shortly after. This is the stuff of nightmares, man...Pinocchio couldn't even say Monstro's name without the other sea critters scattering to the sea breeze.
Yeah.
And there you have it. I'm going to bed.
AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.
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