South Park Goes Disney

No, South Park did not run an episode where the boys went to Disney World. (Though, if they wanted to, sign me up to write it! I would love to unleash Cartman in the Magic Kingdom...especially Fantasyland)


I am referring to the use of Disney characters in some of the episodes of South Park.


Perhaps the most noticeable use (or not?) was in the Imaginationland trilogy in Season Eleven. For those who need a recap: Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Jimmy and Butters get brought to the fantastic Imaginationland, where everything that has ever been imagined exists. Some terrorists get into Imaginationland, bomb it, then break down the wall between the "good" Imaginationland and the "bad" Imaginationland, allowing all that is evil to spill out and giving the terrorists a chance to rule our imaginations.


Still with me? Ok.


Absurd plot line aside (it IS South Park, guys), quite a few Disney characters make an appearance in Imaginationland. The most obvious one for most viewers would be Cinderella (dead center of the picture):

Other characters who make appearances include Pat the Hammer (Handy Manny), the Chesire Cat (Alice in Wonderland) and Jack Skellington (The Nightmare Before Christmas). There's even a guy wearing a TRON suit.

However, the biggest one of all is the one the most people miss.
Take a look at the Mayor of Imaginationland.

Does he look familiar to anyone? Sprinkles? Do you know?


Look at him again.

Does this remind you of anything?


*~*~*~*
Ok, departing from Imaginationland now.


The other episode I want to talk about is "The Ring" from Season Thirteen. No, this is not about Samara Morgan coming out of the tv. In fact...I honestly don't think they've EVER done any reference to The Ring in ANY episode. Holy shit, Matt and Trey! GET ON IT!


Ahem.


The Ring, believe it or not, is about the Jonas Brothers...and their purity rings. 
Kenny brings Tammy, his new girlfriend, to a Jonas Brothers concert in hopes of getting a blowjob from her. Instead, after the concert, she is invited backstage and invited to wear the purity ring and abstain from sexual activities. Kenny reluctantly dons one as well. After watching him rapidly go downhill, Cartman, Stan and Kyle all go to confront the Jonas Brothers.


What they don't know is that the Jonas Brothers are actually selling sex to little girls. They were the purity rings to "make it ok."
But, don't jump all over them. They're forced to do it under threat of violence.
Who is threatening them, you ask?

That guy.


That's right, kiddies. Your innocent views of the Big Cheese just got shattered. Mickey is fully aware that they are selling sex to little girls, and when Joe Jonas tries to walk out of it, Mickey does this:

Yes. That is Mickey Mouse beating the crap out of Joe Jonas.


Oh, but we're not done crushing your hopes and dreams yet. THERE'S MORE.


When the boys go to confront the Jonas Brothers, Mickey shoots them with tranquilizer darts and imprisons them. When they wake up (at the Jonas Brothers big concert in Denver), Mickey threatens to kill them with a chainsaw if they don't tell him who sent them. (Most like Eisner, of course)


And then... (Warning: What follows is very vulgar and completely out of character for the Mickey Mouse you know and love. Leave now if you're easily offended.)


Mickey: "You think God is in control here, haha?! I am in control! I've been in control since the '50s in case you haven't noticed, haha! You three faggots are going onstage, and YOU three faggots aren't going to stop me! NOBODY IS RUINING THIS EVENT!! Haha. I've worked too long and too hard to have anybody fuck this up! Where would you be without me, Jonas Brothers? Haha. Your music sucks and you know it! Haha. It's because you make little girls' 'ginies tickle! And when little girls' 'ginies tickle, I make money! Haha. And that's because little girls are fucking stupid! Haha. And the purity rings make it okay to do whatever I want! Haha. Even the Christians are too fucking stupid to figure out I'm selling sex to their daughters! I've made billions off of Christian ignorance for decades now, haha! And do you know why?!  Because Christians are retard-ed! Haha. They believe in a talking dead guy! Haha."

Naturally, about a third of the way through that, Kyle turned on the microphone, and everyone at the concert got to hear this.

"Ohhh. Haha. Hello, folks."
And then Mickey turns into a Godzilla-like figure and destroys Denver.

All right, I'm done ruining your childhood. I'll talk about Stan being in TRON another day.

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.

Disney Parks Ride Guide - Magic Kingdom

Oh, boy. Here it is. The big one. There are SO MANY RIDES at Magic Kingdom.
For convenience, I will be going clockwise, starting in Adventureland.

RIDES

The Magic Carpets of Aladdin
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: ...Again, it says it's accessible. Yay technology?
General Warnings: You'll be spit on by a camel.
Ride Description: It goes up and down and all around in a family-friendly fashion!
Fast-Pass: NO

Jungle Cruise
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Accessible! Woot!
General Warnings: Puns. Lots and lots of puns.
Ride Description: A boat ride through the jungles and rivers of the world. With puns.
Fast-Pass: YES


Pirates of the Caribbean
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: A little drop, water, darkness, canons, fire.
Ride Description: A boat ride through what is now the movie franchise of Pirates of the Caribbean.
Fast-Pass: NO


Splash Mountain
Height Restrictions: 40"/3 ft 4 in
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: Water, darkness, and there are a few drops.
Ride Description: A water ride that plunges you all the way down into a briar patch.
Fast-Pass: YES


Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
Height Restrictions: 40"/3 ft 4 in
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: It goes up...and then it goes DOWN! Oh, and don't stick your hands up. Just don't.
Ride Description: It's a bloody roller coaster. What more do you want?
Fast-Pass: YES


Liberty Square Riverboat
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Accessible
General Warnings: Seasickness alert!
Ride Description: It's a riverboat ride around Tom Sawyer Island.
Fast-Pass: NO


The Haunted Mansion
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: Ghosts, ghouls, goblins, darkness.
Ride Description: It's a slow moving Doom Buggy ride through a haunted house.
Fast-Pass: NO


"it's a small world"
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: Bad grammar, insanely creepy children singing the ultimate Ear Worm.
Ride Description: Boat ride! With children singing! And many languages!
Fast-Pass: NO


Peter Pan's Flight
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: It's a scary pirate! And I'm flying!
Ride Description: A boat ride in the air.
Fast-Pass: YES


Dumbo the Flying Elephant
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: Long, long wait for a two-minute ride.
Ride Description: Fly with Dumbo! Up and down and up and down and boom! You're done.
Fast-Pass: NO


Prince Charming Regal Carrousel
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: It spins like a boss.
Ride Description: It's a merry-go-round...prancing horses and all that.
Fast-Pass: NO


Snow White's Scary Adventures
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: It's got the word "scary" in the name for a good reason.
Ride Description: A classic dark ride through the movie Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Fast-Pass: NO


The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: Jerky, don't go on this ride while on drugs.
Ride Description: A more fun dark ride through the adventures of Pooh Bear!
Fast-Pass: YES


Mad Tea Party
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Transfer
General Warnings: Spinning! Lots of spinning! Weeee!!!
Ride Description: It spins around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around....
Fast-Pass: NO


Tomorrowland Indy Speedway
Height Restrictions: 32"/2 ft 8 in to ride with a grown-up, 54"/4 ft 6 in to ride alone.
Wheelchairs: Must transfer.
General Warnings: Insanely long wait. If you're over the age of 6 you will die from boredom on this ride.
Ride Description: A slow "car race" around a "track."
Fast-Pass: NO


Space Mountain
Height Restrictions: 44"/3 ft 6 in
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: Darkness, loud noises, don't raise your hands if you value them.
Ride Description: Space Mountain...it's a mountain in spaaaaaaace!!! (And also a roller coaster)
Fast-Pass: YES


Tomorrowland Transmit Authority ("PeopleMover")
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: You have to walk, assisted or not, to the ride. So, no. No wheelchairs.
General Warnings: It's kind of high up...
Ride Description: A slow tram ride that shows you all of the things that Tomorrowland has to offer.
Fast-Pass: NO


Astro Orbiter
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Must transfer
General Warnings: It's really high up. And there's always a long wait for it.
Ride Description: It's like Dumbo...just high up.
Fast-Pass: NO


Carousel of Progress
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Accessible
General Warnings: Not very exciting unless you're a history nerd.
Ride Description: A slow, air-conditioned journey through time and invention.
Fast-Pass: NO


Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin
Height Restrictions: None
Wheelchairs: Transfer like a baus.
General Warnings: Your arms will hate you after this ride.
Ride Description: It's a game and a ride in one!
Fast-Pass: YES


Wow. So many rides... X.x And that's JUST rides.
You see why I said you can't do Magic Kingdom in one day? That was 20 rides. TWENTY.

I'm gonna go get something to eat...

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.

This Could Possibly Be the Best Day Ever!

And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be a million and six times better!

Ahem.

Hello there! I am Agent R, your humble Disney nerd, at your service.

This blog, while partially being about my general life, will majorly include Disney - films, tv shows, parks...and of course, my eventual goal of working full time for the company.

I did accomplish part of that dream this past year - I spent January to August on the Disney College Program, working in two of the parks.

Now, I am planning to go back...and this time, I'm planning to stay.

In this blog, you will get:
Reviews of Disney Entertainment productions (films and tv shows)
More information and opinions about Phineas and Ferb than you ever wanted to know.
My opinions on the Disney Parks
Little bits of trivia!
And much much more.

I hope you enjoy the magical journey.

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.