Mourning

Fillies and gentlecolts, I am in mourning.

Why, you ask?

Well, take a moment to recall when I posted my list of My Favorite Things. Go ahead and read it again, I can wait.

Ok, cool.

My favorite restaurant in all of Disney is the Yakitori House in Epcot. 

As I said, it's where I had my first taste of teriyaki as a child. It's my favorite place to go and eat whenever I'm at Disney, because I can always feel happy and at peace while I'm there, whether eating indoors or out in the garden.

Well, according to AllEars.net, the Yakitori House is no more. It closed shortly after I left Disney.  In its place is the Katsura Grill.

*sadface* Yes, it looks like the menu is mostly the same (besides adding a Featured Items section). However, I'm still in mourning. I loved the Yakitori House. It was, in my opinion, as perfect as one could get. I know rock gardens are traditional, but I liked the plants that surrounded it. It added to the peaceful feel. Now it just looks...plain. Uninspired.

Of course, I'll eat there when I go back to Florida...I'm just sad. It's not the same. And I think you shouldn't fix something if it isn't broken. (I'm looking at YOU, Alien Encounter!)

Cheers.

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.

Living on the Cheap

Straight up, dearies: You'll be making little better than minimum wage while on the Disney College Program. The Housekeepers and the Food & Beverage people make a bit better than the rest, but it's still not much to live on, especially when Disney is taking weekly rent from your paychecks.

I do have a few tips for you for saving your pennies, though. Listen well, my young Mouskerhoes...I did learn a few things about money.

1. Buses.

I know, I know...the DCP buses are irritating. They come at inconvenient times, they are generally crowded (well, the Magic Kingdom bus, anyway), and the bus drivers hate you. But, they do go to all of the places you would need to go: the parks, Downtown Disney, the various resorts, and shopping centers. And the bus is free. Therefore, all that extra money you'd spend on gas? You can use it for other things, like...

2. Food.

As much as some people like to deny it, eating is necessary. And you have to buy your own food while on the College Program - it's not provided. Therefore, you need to eat on the cheap. But you also cannot neglect your nutrition - the vast majority of you will be doing physical labor, and many of you will be doing this outdoors in the Florida heat. Staying healthy is absolutely essential. Even for you lucky ducks who get to sit inside - you still need to feel healthy and energized so you can project positivity to the Guests.
Now then:
-Obviously, ramen noodles are cheap and awesome. Heck, most forms of pasta are.
-Frozen vegetables are also fairly cheap, and they are easy to cook.
-Drink tap/fountain water - believe it or not, it IS safe to drink.
-Compare prices. Should be a no brainer, but it bears repeating.
-BRING YOUR LUNCH TO WORK. There are microwaves and fridges provided at most locations. It's a helluva lot cheaper to bring lunch than to buy lunch from wherever.

3. Walking.

There are quite a few things within walking distance of the apartments. For Chatham and Patterson, there is a Publix (cheap groceries galore!), various restaurants, and an outlet mall nearby. For Vista, there are also restaurants. There's also a pharmacy right nearby. If you don't want to wait for the bus, this is the best thing.

4. Discounts.

Disney Cast Members get discounts at a lot of places. (Not the grocery stores, unforunately....) But the restaurants, stores, and especially the parks (not the quick service restaurants)? Yes. If you're not sure, ask. But if you can use it, then use it. Saving money is good, after all.

5. Free.

Take advantage of free stuff. For example, all of the welcome events that Disney holds at the complexes have free pizza, drinks, and chips. A lot of times, the DJ will throw free stuff into the crowd - t-shirts, towels, pens, you name it. They also have competitions at these events, like hula hooping, bean bag tossing, and Find Me Bring Me. I got a free pair of iPod speakers and a giant cup because of it. There are also all kinds of free events and tours and stuff going on for Cast Members and/or College Programers. Find out the information and always take advantage.

6. Budget Fun.

Always, always, plan fun into your budget. You're in Disney, you're going to want to do things that do cost money. Plan out some extra cash every week that isn't for groceries or gas or whatever, and use it exclusively for souvenirs or fun nights out. Just don't spend over that amount.

Good luck, CPs!

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.

Brazilian Horror

The views reflected herein do not represent the views of the parent company, Walt Disney World® Parks and Resorts. But sure reflects the views of a lot of Cast Members in the parks.
This is why most of us cringe openly whenever we hear the word "Brazilian." *shudders*

Many times a year - mostly in the summer - the Parks are overtaken by tour groups from Brazil. (Ok, a few other countries too...but mostly Brazil.) Normally, I don't mind working with families from Brazil - the families are generally polite when asking for help or directions. (Unless you're closing the line for your character - then they just scream at you in Portuguese)
The tour groups are not.

My first run in with them was in my first days as a Character Attendant. I was working with Winnie the Pooh and Tigger. In their old Magic Kingdom haunt, it was a bit of a walk from their offstage area to the actual area. As you can imagine, the walk can get quite hazardous, especially since parents think shoving their kids into their path is a good idea.

Enter the Brazilians.

This day, we had heard rumors that Brazilians were in the park. It was only my third day, so I didn't know. I figured it couldn't be that bad. Then, when I was escorting Pooh Bear out to his spot, we got surrounded by Brazilian girls who wanted a hug from Pooh.
Surrounded.
Luckily, they weren't four years old, and they moved when Pooh Bear and I were about to run them over. It still left me shaking.
As a Guest in the parks, I continued to see behavior that wasn't nice from them. They would swarm food carts all speaking at once. They would argue about seating arrangements on rides. They would sing extremely loudly and off-key while waiting in queues, to the aggravation of all.

It got worse, though, when I began working at Voyage of the Little Mermaid. For safety reasons, flash pictures are not allowed during the show. It blinds the characters, and we don't want them to get hurt. Not to mention it disrupts the show for your fellow audience members. We stated as much prior to the show - we have an English, Spanish, and Portuguese spiel that tells the audience that for the safety of our actors, they can't take flash pictures.
And what happens, every single show?
Flash pictures. Flash pictures upon flash pictures. It is ridiculous. They have no regard for others, only themselves. And you are allowed to take photos without the flash - so it's extremely selfish and reckless that they use the flash.

If you have any Brazilian horror stories, feel free to share them.

My Not So Favorite Things

In my last post, I highlighted all of my favorite things at Disney. After all, I have to spread a little magic (and give you guys some perspective).

But a few of you (and you know who you are) want to know what my least favorite things about the Disney parks are. That is, not everything at Disney is perfect. Surprise.

Using the same categories as before (Ride, Show, Parade, Fireworks, Restaurant, Store, Character Location, and Mousellaneous), here are the things that I prefer to skip when I visit the parks.

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RIDE: Tomorrowland Speedway

This piece of shit is the biggest waste of time, ever. The premise behind it is...you drive a "car" around a "racetrack."

Ooh! Look at me! I'm driving super slow and making your blood pressure rise!

How slow? 7 mph. That's right, you're going around this track at a whopping 7 mph. And that's assuming the driver in front of you is moving...at all. So, it's basically a ride version of your morning commute to work, except most of the drivers are children.

I don't care if you're six. Fuck you.

It takes forever to get around the track...but first, you have to get to the bloody ride...it's normally at least a 45 minute wait, if not an hour or more. And there are a few spots of shade, but other than that, you're standing in the sun. Which, it's still 90+ degrees in the shade, so does it really even matter? You're still going to broil alive.

And no, there is no FastPass for this ride. So you're stuck waiting the hour as you curse your child for wanting to learn how to drive early.

SHOW: It's Tough to Be a Bug

I'm not a fan of 3D movies. Let's just get that out of the way. (They hurt my eyes, before you accuse me of being a chicken. I really like MuppetVision 3D and Mickey's Philharmagic, but lord, do I pay for it afterwards.) This particular show, however, is the worst one I have ever seen (that's still in existence). Based on the movie A Bug's Life, Flik takes us through the world of bugs and tells us why bugs aren't so scary after all. (Yes, keep telling my arachnophobia that...)

It's also in the Tree of Life, so unfortunately it draws a lot more people than it should.

When you first enter the actual theater, it seems innocent enough. It's lit, people are chatting and happy, and the screen is covered with pretty butterflies.

But then, you start to notice a smell. A faint, acrid smell that reminds you of poop and gasoline...or maybe your brother's socks after football practice.
Well, if you had paid attention to the posters, you would have been warned...

Yeah...part way through the show, you get sprayed with stinkbug funk. And the smell doesn't entirely go away in between shows...I feel sorry for the ones who come to the last show of the day.

Then, after Flik tries to convince us that spraying us wasn't a bad thing... enter Hopper, who somehow (spoiler alert) survived being swallowed by a bird.

ZOMBIE!

Hopper then proceeds to solidify your child's (and my) nightmares for the next few years. He throws out hornets at you. And you get stung. I'm not getting...they fucking sting you.

Not real hornets! Geez, you people are sick.

After that, Flik is just like "...get out, don't squish us." And I'm like... "I AM OUT OF HERE."

PARADE: Main Street Electrical Parade

The only good thing about this parade is the fact that Elliot (Pete's Dragon) is in it. He does a magic trick and confuses Guests of all ages that aren't me or Sprinkles.

Other than that, this parade annoys the hell out of me. It's not just the fact that it blocks all of Main Street with its crowds of curious people so you can't get through to anything on either side, or that it has some of the most annoying, repetitive music known to man. It just feels like it makes no sense.

What's the point? "Look at me, I'm sparkly?" Not exactly a great parade.

Here's the entire bloody thing if you care to listen.

Oh, god...the music...


FIREWORKS: None. All of the fireworks shows that they do are freaking awesome.

Illuminations: Reflections of Earth...

Wishes...

There are some on Fantasmic!...

And The Magic, The Memories, and You!, and Dream Along with Mickey...and they're all fantastic. Disney consistently gets its fireworks right.


RESTAURANT: Tangierine Café

This is a quick service restaurant in Morocco in Epcot. Plain and simple, it's the only restaurant I've ever eaten at where I felt ill afterwards while at the Disney parks. I can hear the naysayers going but that was just a one time thing! Sure, maybe, but now that I'm a bit older and know what food I like, I can honestly say that I don't really want to eat here again. I don't like stews, I don't like lentils, I don't like olives, I REALLY don't like onions, I'm not a fan of lots of sauce...I'm sure you can see the problem.

It's also not air conditioned. (Or, at least, the last time I stuck my head in, it was not)

And I don't know about you, but when it's summertime in Florida, I need to eat my lunch in a cool place.


STORE: Castle Couture

I'm sure the Disney execs will shoot me for this, but it's true. I do not like this store, not one bit.
If the name doesn't give it away, this is where you buy all of those expensive princess dresses that you see all the little girls wearing.

These will easily set you back a pretty penny. I looked around the internet and came up with a price of $65 for the Belle dress. I remember seeing a price of over $100 for one of them, though I can't remember which one it was. But why do I have such a grudge?
Besides the cheaply made/overpriced thing that Disney seems to love, there's the fact that children are the only ones allowed to come to the parks in costume (unless it's Halloween or Star Wars Weekend). I personally love dressing up in costumes, and I'd like to take it to Disney on just a regular day. But I'm not 7 years old or younger...so I can't.

And besides, those same pretty dresses are going to make your young princess broil alive...seriously, have you ever worn that much fabric in July?

Yeah, I'm bitter...I still don't like the place.


CHARACTER LOCATION: Pooh's Thotful Spot

In the Magic Kingdom, there is a place. A place where you can meet Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too. A place where the sun shines all day without rest.

This, my friends, is Pooh's Thotful Spot...in Hell.

There is a tiny bit of shade there in the early morning, but after that, the area is fully in the sun. As you can see by the first picture I posted up there, that's not an exaggeration - it is in the sun. And the wait, for whatever reason, always seems to be around 40 minutes or more. This is a great place to get sunburned and dehydrated, but it's not a great place to meet a character. It's just not.

MOUSELLANEOUS: Stitch's Great Escape

Aka. The inspiration for this whole article.

Stitch's Great Escape is a weird attraction. It's not a ride, and it's kind of a show, but not really...I took to calling it a multi-sensory attraction, because that's the closest I could get. Wikipedia calls it an Interactive Theatre, DisneyWorld.Disney.Go.com calls it a zany, madcap show and a multi-sensory experience. But it also says that it's "fun for everyone." Like Hell it is.

To give you an idea, this attraction used to be the ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter, where everyone's favorite chest burster (yes, THAT Alien) had his way with Disney Guests. It was explicitly stated that it was not for younger children, but we already know that people don't like to read when they go to Disney. Thus, people complained, and it was replaced with Stitch. Because somehow that makes it all better.

Yeeeeeah....about that...

It uses a lot of the same technology and tricks as before...but with a few additions. For example, Stitch steals a guard's chili/onion dog, eats it, and promptly burps in your face. The smell stayed with me for a week.

Also, since it's now Stitch (and everyone is warm and fuzzy from the happy ending of the movie), there are now more young kids going on this than when it was Alien! And there are plenty of adults around who weren't expecting such an intense experience. Therefore, this attraction is actually traumatizing more people than its predecessor! Go Disney! Keep giving us nightmares!

I should probably also mention that you are strapped into a single seat (you can kind of see the seats in that last picture)...and you physically cannot get out. So, when your kid is freaking out and crying out for your help, you can't get to them. You're both stuck where you are.

Sweet dreams.

P.S. This might be me, but when Stitch is "jumping up and down" on my shoulders....it hurts, like a lot.

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Oh, the negativity...that made me tired.

But at least you have a little more perspective. These are things I prefer to skip when I visit the parks, and yeah, I have experienced them all. But remember: These are my opinions. If you like Tangierine Café, then you can eat there. I'll be over at Yakitori House.

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.

My Favorite Disney Things

Young or old, everyone has a favorite thing from Disney, be it a show or a ride or what have you. I wanted to share my favorite thing...but I could not decide which Favorite Thing to show you! I have many favorite things!

So, I'm going to list my favorite things from a few categories: Ride, Show, Parade, Fireworks, Restaurant, Store, Character Location, and Mousellaneous. *ba dum pssh*

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RIDE: Journey Into Imagination With Figment

I can hear the gasps of surprise now. Yes, I absolutely love my thrill rides. Yes, I like roller coasters and out of control elevators. But Journey Into Imagination With Figment is super special awesome. Yeah, it's slow and "for kids." But I'm a kid at heart, and I also value air conditioning. It also has one thing that those other rides do not have.

That guy.

That, my dears, is Figment. He's a purple dragon from your imagination. He loves to make mischief, but he also is very knowledgeable about the imagination. He encourages everyone to tap into theirs, by using every sense that they have and by changing their perspective. And he sings!

Follow the bouncing Figment! Then when you get off the ride, spend time in ImageWorks and have fun!

One little spark can light your fancy/your mind sees more than what your eyes see/one spark of light can make your fancy fly/there's more to sight than meets the eye! - Figment.


SHOW: Fantasmic!

I'll admit it, when I first started working for Disney, I never wanted to see this show. Whenever I would go to Disney's Hollywood Studios, I would see the long line for the show and think "...what on Earth are these people waiting for?" Then I would go on the Tower of Terror again. I finally saw it after being there for nearly five months when my mother came for a visit.
I finally figured out why people wait an hour for this thing. It is the best...

Bloody...

Show...

EVER.

Every major animated character from every major Disney animated feature is in this show in some way, whether through projection or actually up on the stage. Meg, Mushu, Rafiki, Maleficent, the Wicked Queen, Scar, Pocahontas...they're all there. The music is incredible, the message uplifting. And the effects will blow you away...sometimes quite literally.

So, when you see that big long line for Fantasmic!, just know...it is worth it.


PARADE: Move It, Shake It, Celebrate It Street Party

The only parade that actually takes place 3 times a day, you can find this one in the Magic Kingdom in the street in front of the castle. MiSiCi (my-sigh-kai) is a chance for you to dance with your favorite characters to some of the best music from your (or your parents) teenage years.

There are stiltwalkers. There's confetti and streamers. Mickey will generally blow you a kiss if you're by yourself (true story). Conga lines and shaking your tail feathers ensues. It's positively mad, and yet it's one of the most fun things you could ever do at Disney World. And everyone from the Big Cheese himself down to the Incredibles show up to celebrate. Keep your eyes peeled though - there may be a few surprises if you think outside the box!

FIREWORKS: Wishes Nighttime Spectacular

Starlight, star bright...first star I see tonight...I wish I may, I wish I might...have the wish I wish tonight...we'll make a wish, and do as dreamers do...and all our wishes...will come true...


God, I'm tearing up just typing the lyrics. As soon as the voice started singing them in my head...well, you get the picture.
Wishes is the fireworks show that takes place nightly at Magic Kingdom. It's about 12 minutes long, and it's about...well, wishes. About the good things that can come from them, and also the bad - as the villains get a chance to show what their wishes would look like. Needless to say, though, good triumphs in the end, and you're left a happy, crying mess as you sing along with that beautiful little voice.

Oh, wishes...wishes...
*blows nose*


RESTAURANT: Yakitori House

Yakitori House is the quick-service restaurant in the Japan pavilion in Epcot. This is where I had my first taste of teriyaki when I was little. I've loved it ever since.

It doesn't have a huge menu, but it has enough to make you happy. It's a very peaceful place, even when it's very crowded. You're of course welcome to sit at a table inside, but there's a wonderful garden outside where you can sit as well - with lanterns and waterfalls and beautiful plants.

It's a nice place to just sit and relax while you eat. No rush, no worry, just enjoy your steaming, delicious bowl of teriyaki and rice.


STORE: Mitsukoshi Merchandise Store

And once you're done eating, you can walk right across the way to Mitsukoshi, the coolest, nerdiest, most Japanophilic store EVER. There are all kinds of anime merchandise, recipe books, language guides, kimono, shoes, food...this store basically has everything you could ever want for making your home as Japanese as possible.

Sprinkles, we need to go shopping here when we get down there!


CHARACTER LOCATION: Phineas and Ferb's Play and Greet

Oh, come on - were you expecting me to pick a different one?

At Disney's Hollywood Studios, you can actually meet Phineas and Ferb - and they are absolutely adorable. You can't get a hug from Phineas or Ferb and still have a bad day. All the while, you can marvel at the meet and greet area - items from the show, such as the Floating Baby Head and Ducky Momo, make appearances. The music that plays the entire day, even when they aren't out? It's a radio station that plays nothing but Phineas and Ferb music - with characters from the show calling in and making requests. Three guesses what song Buford asks for. And that's not even the best part.
Does anyone remember the episode Lights, Candace, Action!? (If you don't: Phineas and Ferb directed a movie starring Candace - The Curse of the Princess Monster.)

In this episode, we meet acclaimed film producer, Cletus Filmore, who is running the production. Well, guess what? He's in Florida now!

(The guy in the yellow jacket)
He puts the "play" in "play and greet." He encourages us to dance, he leads call and response songs. ("AGLET!") He basically makes the 45+ minutes you're waiting in line much more fun. It's awesome.


MOUSELLANEOUS: The Magic of Disney Animation

Some of you may be calling CHEAT, since part of this is a show. But the show isn't the whole thing. In fact, it's just an appetizer. There is so much more to be done here.
First, let's talk about the show: Drawn to Animation.

You, the humble Guest, are taken on a journey through the process of creating a character - in this case, Mushu from Mulan. It's hilarious and nonsensical, it's educational and entertaining. Please don't be alarmed when Mushu shatters the fourth wall - that's just what he does. Oh, and air conditioning! Don't forget air conditioning.

After the show, you go out into the interactive area.

There are meet and greets with characters here. There's a quiz which tells you which Disney character you are (I'm Cinderella, apparently...). There are some booths where you can put your own voice in an animated cartoon.

And then...the Holy Grail...The Animation Academy.

This, my dears, is where you get to learn how to draw a Disney character. The class is 20 minutes long, and there are a whole range of characters you could learn to draw. I personally got to draw Ray the Firefly when I took it, but I've seen everyone from Mickey and Buzz Lightyear to Tigger and Rapunzel. So you never know who you'll be drawing. Sometimes, the artist won't tell you - you have to guess! Just be patient with yourself - most people there aren't professional artists, and yet you'll still walk away with a drawing you can be proud of.

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And those are my favorite things from Walt Disney World! Hurray!

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.