Attractive Attractions

The other half of my time at Walt Disney World was spent in Attractions. I personally was assigned to two attractions that I do not care for, and my work was significantly less fun. I'm now planning on returning to work there with my good friend Sprinkles. I began to wonder...what if I got sent back to Attractions? Would I be able to survive?

Well, it turns out that there are 4 attractions that I would be quite happy to work at. There are 4 rides I would, in fact, be over the moon to work at. And here they are! Hurray!

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4. The Haunted Mansion

The creepy house that sits in Liberty Square, this would be a lovely place to work. It is yet another air-conditioned attraction, always a plus. But the real draw for me is the macabre nature of this attraction. I love horror and supernatural and all things spooktacular. Ergo, this place would be perfect for me. Plus, you're not allowed to smile. Yeah, it's the one place in Disney where you can't smile. Yes please?

3. Journey Into Imagination With Figment

As I've said before, this is my all time favorite ride at Disney. I would go on it once a week, if not more - and I'm still finding it as entertaining and refreshing as the first time I rode it. I haven't memorized the song yet...but I'm working on it.
Why would I want to work here? Well, for one thing, it's air conditioned. Yay for air conditioning! In the middle of summer, air conditioning is vital for your sanity and your well-being. Second, as I said, I love this ride to death. Figment is cooler than you and you know it. Third, the costume includes a LAB COAT. How many places that don't involve blood and guts let you wear a lab coat?! Fourth, and this is slightly selfish on my part...Figment closes at 7 pm, a full two hours before the rest of the park. I could be out and done before the fireworks, when the buses get clogged with people leaving the park.

2. The Great Movie Ride

The underdog of rides from Hollywood Studios, this is a beautiful, 30-ish minute guide through some of the Greatest Movies Ever. Beside also being air conditioned, this is about as close to an Entertainment role as you can get without actually being in Entertainment. (If you've ever been on this ride, you know exactly what I'm talking about) And as I like acting, this would be really nice.

1. Jungle Cruise

Possibly the only amusement park attraction to be discussed in a Weird Al song, the Jungle Cruise is the Hurricane of Puns that floats along in Adventureland. Yes, it's outdoors and hot out, but dear god, the script makes me crack up. You get to be a Large Ham every day, and you get paid for it. Plus, the outfits are freaking awesome. I could look like Cindiana Jones again, as Push once called me.
Agent Skipper R...I like it.
Here it is...THE BACKSIDE. OF. WATER.

Oh, come on. I had to stick it in there.
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Yay for Attractions! I hope I get one of these if I get sent back to that department!

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.