12 Disney Animals That Are Cooler Than You

With the release of Tangled, the Walt Disney Animation Studios released its 50th animated feature film. Over the years, the princesses, pirates, and emperors-turned-llamas have dominated the box office.

However, I personally prefer a different kind of character. I prefer the super-badass animals that have been unleashed on the world. (Although, llamas do make everything better)

Criteria for my list-

They have to be 100% animal - so Kuzco (The Emperor's New Groove) and Phil (Hercules) are out.

They have to be a character in the Disney Animated Canon - so Roger Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?) and Elliot (Pete's Dragon) are out.

They have to coexist with humans - Robin Hood is out.

With that said, here is my list of the 11 coolest Disney animated animals.

And yes, they are cooler than you.

12. & 11. Meeko and Flit (Pocahontas)

Meeko and Flit are the two animal sidekicks of Pocahontas. Meeko is the fuzzy, hyperactive raccoon who likes stealing biscuits from pretty boy John Smith. Flit tends to take an ill view of Meeko's activities, chirping (yes, a hummingbird who chirps) angrily at him instead. However, both are fiercely loyal to Pocahontas, sticking by her as she runs through the forest and goes over a waterfall. They follow her to England in the sequel and attempt to reassure her when Smith is slated for execution. They never, ever - not once - give up on her. Plus, how can you not adore these faces?

Exactly.

10. Cri-Kee (Mulan)

Cri-Kee is Mulan's lucky cricket. Her grandmother gives him to her as a gift before she goes to the matchmaker. Thanks to Cri-Kee, she gets hitched and they all live...oh, wait. He sets up a domino chain that ends with the Matchmaker's behind on fire and a potful of tea in her face.

When you look back, though, you see that this was probably deliberate. After all, the look on his face when he escaped the cage said, "Fuck this, let's dance."

He also has plenty to say to Mushu when he implies that Cri-Kee isn't lucky. Mushu interprets his chirps as being "sucker"...but I think he mistranslated one letter.

As it turns out though, Cri-Kee is pretty lucky. After all, had things gone better at the Matchmaker's, Mulan would have been married and shut away to someone she probably didn't even like...and her country completely taken over by the Huns. But that didn't happen - she's now the Hero of China, and she's with a man she loves and who loves her. All because of a little cricket.

9. & 8. Trusty & Jock (Lady and the Tramp)

Trusty the Bloodhound and Jock the Scottish terrier are Lady's two best friends at the beginning of the movie. Jock is shown to be a bit grumpy at times, but generally very loving. Trusty is a former law enforcement dog with incredible manners. Both dogs love Lady very much and are willing to stand by her through anything. Both of them offer their homes when Jim Dear and Darling seem to be neglecting her. This especially comes through after Lady comes back from the pound and Tramp tries to talk to her. It's made very clear that at Lady's word, they would tear Tramp apart for hurting her.

The true Crowning Moment of Awesome for these two (ok, mostly for Trusty), though, comes towards the end of the movie. After Tramp is shipped off to the pound, it's revealed that Tramp was protecting the baby from a rat. Trusty and Jock immediately set off after him. After Trusty turns out to still have a sense of smell, he tracks down the pound wagon (through water, no less), he sacrifices himself and throws himself in front of the horse to stop the wagon. Jock sits next to his friend and howls mournfully, making everyone watching feel like shit.

Don't worry though. He gets better.

Then they become Uncle Jock and Uncle Trusty! Yay!

7. Dodger (Oliver & Company)

Oh, come on. You knew Dodger would be on here.

The shades, the fancy piano playing, the way he charms the ladies...Dodger is so cool it almost hurts. He's also voiced by Billy Freakin' Joel. (Big surprise, right?)

Don't worry, there's a lot more to him than just shades and music. He will protect Fagin (his owner) and the members of the gang with his life, later including little Oliver in this circle. Towards the end, he almost dies fighting off Sykes's pair of Dobermans to protect both Oliver and Jenny.

Cool, dawg. Cool.

6. & 5. Bernard and Bianca (The Rescuers/The Rescuers Down Under)

YES, Bernard and Bianca are cooler than Dodger.

At the beginning of the first movie, Bianca is working for the Rescue Aid Society as an agent, Bernard is a janitor. Bianca is regarded as the most beautiful mouse in the Society - when she starts singing along with the Society's anthem, every head in the place turns towards her. Clearly, she's got her pick when it comes to men/partners. Then, when she hears the mission to rescue Penny, she immediately volunteers for the assignment. Even though the chairman (chairmouse?) strongly advises against her taking it, she continues pushing until she gets the assignment. On the condition that she chooses another agent to go with her.

And she does - she chooses Bernard. That's right - instead of choosing one of the other agents, she chose the janitor who made her laugh.

Throughout the two movies, Bianca maintains a cool head, acting as the voice of reason for the both of them.

Ok, fine. Now, how does Bernard fit into all this?

I'm sure most of you remember him as a scared, bumbling mouse with a few shining moments shared by Bianca. Clearly, none of you saw the sequel.

As of the sequel, Bernard and Bianca have been dating for some time now, and Bernard is trying to propose to her when they get sent on a mission on Australia. Upon arrival, they meet Jake, who, well...

Let's just say Bernard doesn't like the guy. Him roping a snake and guiding them through Australia's dangerous lands doesn't help things.

Later on, Bianca and Jake get trapped in McLeach's truck. Bernard, in an attempt to save them, ropes and controls a razorback.

One of those.

Still think Bernard's not cool? Just ask that razorback. (And Bianca - she said yes!)

4. Ray (The Princess and the Frog)

HE'S CAJUN, BRAH! Born and raised in the bayou!

Ray is one of the two animal companions Tiana and Naveen meet in the swamps of New Orleans (the other being Louis, the gator). Ray is a Cajun firefly who's spent way too much time watching soap operas - but that's ok. His sweet love ballad, Ma Belle Evangeline, perfectly sets up the love story that he crash lands in while also establishing that yes, Ray is in love with a star.

And...he's also a Big Damn Hero.

Later in the movie, Naveen is recaptured by Dr. Facilier and Lawrence, making Tiana believe that Naveen has left her behind. Ray deduces what actually happened, taking evidence to Tiana and telling her to run. Then he takes on the shadow creatures summoned by the Shadow Man...

Only to be knocked down by Dr. Facilier and crushed.

Don't worry, Dr. Facilier gets what is coming to him...but Ray doesn't get better. He dies shortly thereafter...

And then...

*insert deafening cheers here*

3. Basil (The Great Mouse Detective)

Box office flop? Yes. But it also had one of the coolest, most badass characters ever in the Disney canon.

Basil, an expy to Sherlock Holmes, is asked by a little mouse to solve the mystery of her father's kidnapping. Basil does everything you'd expect a mouse with an extreme attention to detail to do. And yes, he does play the violin.

His best scene comes after he (and Olivia and Dawson) get trapped by Ratigan in a death trap. He starts out in shock, feeling stupid for getting them into such a mess. Dawson pleads with him to snap out of it...and in record time, snaps out of it and frees them...all in time to pose for the camera Ratigan set up to capture their demise. 

Yes, he smiles for the camera intended to capture his death.

2. Maximus (Tangled)

Maximus, the kick-butt equine. He can fight with a sword or a frying pan, knocking your own weapon down in the process. He can track Flynn Rider all over the kingdom, and then some. He winds up in charge of the kingdom's guardianship, completely eliminating crime from the kingdom. In short, if this horse wants your ass, it will be his.

And yet, he's also compassionate. When Rapunzel asks him for a truce with Flynn for her birthday, he complies. He chooses to enjoy the festival with Rapunzel and Flynn, and he correctly deduces what happened when Flynn is captured and immediately winds up help.

In short, he's the cool dream horse every girl wants when they turn five and develop Pony-philia.

Sweet, isn't he?

1. Pascal (Tangled)

Go ahead, I DARE you to say Pascal's not cool.

Apart from Mother Gothel, Pascal is the only other contact Rapunzel has in her tower. He's her best friend for countless years, playing games with her, helping her bake, and even being a model for her sewing.

Without ever saying a word, he is able to tell Rapunzel (and later, Flynn and Maximus) exactly what he's thinking. He's the real reason Rapunzel came tame the horse, he inspires her to ask Mother Gothel to see the lights, and he encourages her to leave the Tower and live her dreams. Hell, he even breaks up a fight between Flynn and Maximus just by looking at them.

That's right. As powerful and awesome as Maximus is, Pascal can control him. 

Still think he's not awesome?

He's the one who trips Mother Gothel out the window in the end, sending her falling to her death.
Therefore, he's cooler than you. Deal with it.

And there you have it. 12 Disney animals that are cooler than you.

AGENT R IS OUT. PEACE.